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Something struck me a few years ago, while I was shopping for a turkey.  They don’t have legs anymore.  No more thigh, no more drumstick, no more dark meat.  It would seem that turkeys today are more closely related to Pamela Anderson than their forefathers when it comes to breast size.  I’m thinking if they were human sized, they’d be something like 48DDDD and all of 4′-6″ tall. 

I understand that people like the white meat, it’s generally neutrally flavored, and when prepared correctly very tender and juicy.  Now that being said, I know of few people who can actually prepare a turkey correctly.  Most often it’s overcooked and has a moisture content similar to that of the Gobi.  However, dark meat off of these turkeys is almost always still delicious.  It has a higher fat content, yes fat is good!  If it’s tasty and delicious, one might say that it is good for you. 

I digress, I have more to rant about in the world of poultry. 

This year, and for the past few for that matter, I have purchased free range turkeys.  I’m not sure if they are organic, but I couldn’t care less.  The reason I buy them isn’t for health, it’s for looks.  They look like a turkey!  Legs, wings, everything.  And by my estimation, having seen turkeys raised both cooped up and free, they had a slightly better, albeit equally short life.  But ethics isn’t my big thing with the turkey farmers.

It’s taste!  Free range turkeys taste like turkey!  Butterball and their counterparts have created very large chickens that they sell as turkeys, it would seem.  They have a slight turkey flavor, but really it’s just chicken with injected turkey flavor. 

There is a very simple explanation for all of this, turkeys don’t eat corn.  They eat grass and bugs.  Feeding them corn makes them not taste like turkey.  It makes them taste like chicken.  If I wanted chicken, I would make a chicken. 

For the record, I whole heartedly enjoy roasted chicken. It’s one of the most delicious foods comma period.  But on Thanksgiving and at other such holiday events I want my turkey to taste like turkey. 

Imagine if ham tasted like chicken.  We’d all be pissed.  Screwing with meat candy like that.

Happy turkey day!

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